between dispicing and loving..

hello dear family of friends:)

today i am writing you bundled up in 4 layers of clothing and tucked into bed under 2 blankets. i am sick. or at least my body is sick. i am having a cold. i feel hot and stuffed and my energy resources are very limited so that even a phone call or conversation sends me back to bed to sleep some more. and that is basically what i have done today. sleeping. only interrupted by my pineapple-oranges-kiwi meals. i am feeling much better then yesterday but still i am sick. and i am supposed to work tonight. from 5-12 midnight.

well at 1pm this afternoon i figured i won't be able to make it through 8 hours of friday night cornerstone dishwashing. i might be able to do 4 and then go straight home and crash. so i called a couple people and tried to find someone to help me with my shift. no luck. and then there came the phone call that showed me again why i am still dishwashing for this cafe. a phone call that showed me again how a business CAN be run. blake, the kitchen manager called and i told him that i was sick and he asked if i could at least work for a couple hours. if that works for me HE will find someone else to cover the rest. i said that that would be fine and that i was already calling people to see who can share my shift with me. then i asked him what i could to for him as he was the one who called and he answered:

just be your awesome self and drink lots of orange juice. i see you later.

those are the moments when i love the place i am working for and i know why i am still there.

i send the wish out that each of you can experience such a moment.

jewels

something about a bath...

hi dear family and friends,

it is tuesday night around 8pm, i am freshly bathed and smell delicious. i am sitting on my bed, music can be heart from downstairs, a fragrance stick is burning and fills the room with its amazing aroma. i feel warm, happy, cozy and at peace.

i had a good day.

it was one of those days that start like every other and from which i didn't expect anything. and it just onfolded, floating along like a happy, lazy and at peace little stream in the forest. i watched rowan this morning for a couple hours and helped romona get ready for her trip to nyc. she is on the bus now. and will be until tomorrow morning,. it is a 13 hour ride to nyc. not that much. but still. she bought 3 bottles of water. and a couple muffins for on the way. well, my lunch box always looked quite different. several sandwiches, crackers maybe some water...:)

i just found out today that there is a nice little park close by that belongs to the hospital. we took rowan for a walk there and she feel asleep on the way. i am so happy that there is a park close to where i live so i can go for walks and such.

after i dropped of ramona at the bus stop i walked home in the lovely fall air. i had a long bath and just enjoyed how the warmth of the water relaxed my mussels and my soul. i had some candle lit and there is something about a bath that just makes me happy every time i have one.i feel really blessed that i live in a country where i can have a bath and the luxury of warm water in abundance.

when i worked at the cornerstone today i felt like my brain was still at home. as if it got caught on the way out of the house and i left without it. i am usually really good at having everything under control and knowing what to do next etc. but today i was just floating. starting something and then running off to do something else and forgetting what it was that i had originally done. it was weird. i had something to eat cause i thought i might be hungry but it did not help. so i was very happy when i was able to leave at 5pm.

around 2pm everything was pretty quiet so jer, the server in charge decided to have a smoke outside in the back and leave me with the couple guests for a couple minutes. well, as soon as he left 9 people came in and i was busy getting menues out and orders served. it was quite stressful for a minute and the thought came up: 'ha, so that is how it feels when i am a server'...

the other day there was another jewels-moment. i think it was last friday when i was working and it was raining really hard outside. there were 3 girls on one table and the 4th just came in the door. the other server was busy so i went over there and said: hi, how are you today? it is quite chilly outside, ej?? and you got totally wet. can i get you a cup of tea? and the girl says, yeah, it is raining pretty hard but i had my raincoat on so i didn't get wet. and i am like: oh cool, i just meant cause your hair is wet. and the girl looks up to me and goes: mhm, it is not wet just fatty.

oh well.;>)

i am sending you blessings and hope you have a moment where you feel as cozy as i do right now.

love,

jewels

happy thanksgiving!!!

dear friends and family,

i am sitting here in our living room on metcalfe street, enya is singing, my older sister is sitting beside me writing on the computer, we just finished a pumpkin soup for our thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and i am feeling cozy and comfortable tired.i have worked today a very slow and easy shift. nevertheless i am tired from all the standing, running and walking. tonight there is life music but i am not sure if i will go. we'll have to finish the soup tomorrow morning before we get picked up by a friend of mine.

it is thanksgiving weekend. traditionally thanksgiving is a day of celebration the year's harvest and food that mother earth has provided again. it is a feast of abundance and beauty. of laughter, hard work, people, friendship and gratitude.

i'm grateful too. for this life i am able to live. for the freedom i enjoy. for this healthy body that carries me everyday and that gives my soul a home. for this journey i am on. for lessons every day. for tears and laughter. for people. especially for people. every single one of you has touched my life at different times and stages of my journey. some of you are still walking with me in a physical form and with some of you i am still connected on a spiritual level. but all of you are important to me and all of you have inspired and helped my become the person i am today. many of you will continue being my teachers at different points in my life.

i feel blessed to know every one of you.

life is full of lessons and people who can become wonderful teachers and arms to lean on in times where i need someone to carry me a little while until my feet are strong enough again to walk on their own.

i carry you all in my heart and i am so full of gratitude to the universe that you were sent to become part of my story.

feel loved and hugged from me this thanksgiving.

i sending out the wish that every one of you can be thankful for something these days.

namaste,

jewels

rainy friday

dear family and friends, i am sitting at my desk in my room on metcalfe street, facing the window, listening to pachelbel's canon in d, constant rain is falling outside. i am drinking rooibus chai tea and nibbling on a 'lebkuchen' that my sister brought from germany. i feel lazy today and comfortable cozy. i don't really feel like leaving the house. but i am working at 1pm. my sister has left to see toronto for the day so i brought her to the bus on the corner this morning and then went straight back to bed.

it is nice to have her here. i showed her the cornerstone and the people i work with and who become my family away from my family in germany. she met rowan yesterday and we went to a transition town meeting together. transition guelph is a project that is happening in different towns all over the world i believe. the idea is to prepare for the peak-oil and post-oil times. it was quite interesting.

i think i will hop back in bed for a little bit. i will work later and cause it is friday and we'll have life music i expect it to be a stressful shift..:)

hope everyone will at on point treat themselves with a long and lazy morning..

love, jewels

night before sister's visit

hi dear friends and family,

it is my free day today. almost going to its end. i mostly relaxed today. after worrying about my shift tomorrow hoping to find someone to cover it so i can get my sister from the airport. my wonderful housemate steve is so wonderful to give me a ride so i can get her in toronto. it is an hour ride down there. she will arrive at 6:15pm and with costums and such i think she won't be out until 7pm. i think i till bring a snack for the way home.. but that is just thinking out loud.

i am excited. i think i am also kinda nervous to see how the reunion will unfold. to see how she'll fit in my lifestyle. i hope she will feel home here and welcome...

i wonder how she'll see me.... ui it is very exciting. life IS exciting and i don't even have to do anything..:)

may you feel the same excitement about this life experience of ours.

nameste,

jewels

happy october rain!

dear family and friends. i am sitting in my room, rain falls down outside, thunder and lighting are chasing each other. enya sings 'listen to the rain....here it comes again..'. i am happy. i purchased a beautiful old desk and chair this morning as well as some material to have a cover over my bed, some pillows and a blanket. my room smells like ylang ylang incense sticks and it reminds me of my old schoolfriend sara whose apartment smelt exactly like that. good memories. i love fall. i am getting ready to spent more time in the house and i just love decorating my room. i will pick out some paint in the next little while and paint the room. probably a greenish colour. i love fall for its smell. the leaves on the ground, the earth, the wind. and the feeling of making home comfortable so i can have tea, read a book or just look out of the window and watch the trees in the backyards move in the rain and wind. i love the feeling of being cold and coming home into a warm house. what a beautiful idea!!

i am so excited cause i am furnishing my room and it looks sooo lovely. and also my sister ramona is coming on tuesday. i just received the news today. i knew she was thinking of coming on oct 6 and i thought oh yeah, that is fine. it is such a loooong time away. well, it is tuesday. i am excited though. i haven't seen her for 2 years. i saw pics etc but i haven't hugged her for 2 years. and now she is coming in 3 days. she flies into toronto and i will pick her up at the airport. she will be here for a month until nov 5. i can show her my life and the people i love and live with. she and rowan were born on the same day. not the same year though..:)

steve and i were talking today about our minds. how they trick us into believing the thought that we HAVE to do something, always have to move and imrpve instead of simply being still. i talked to my dad today on skype (i was talking to the laptop screen. is that weird or what???) and he said that he doesn't feel like doing anything today but thinks he has to do at least SOMETHING. i think we all have these thoughts every now and then. i thought maybe we get more done if we don't do anything...

so i am enjoying myself listening to music and writing to you. it is dark already at 7:20pm. i will maybe ride by the cornerstone and have some tea and read. it really becomes my second home.

love you all.

i wish everyone a place besides from home where you can feel safe and where you are surrounded by wonderful people.

namaste,

jewels