just a short notice that i am still alive and feeling better. yes, the flu or whatever it was that i had is mostly gone. i still have a little cough that just doesn't want to leave but besides that i am feeling fine.
my life here is in a transition. i decided while i was sick that i am NOT happy with only dishwashing as my occupation so i talked to my boss and now i am only working once a week just for the 'fun' of it and to stay in touch with all the wonderful people who work there. so now i am looking for something else to do that i enjoy and at the same time enables me to eat and drink and go to the theater.
oh yes, theater. i am back. one hundred procent. with all its passion and love. we just finished our show in fergus where i was the asm (assistant stage manager). so i was wearing a fancy headset etc. it was fun. and while i was sitting behind the curtain, watching my fellow actors and actresses, waiting for my next cue i felt this deep, profound yearning to be back on stage. at times i caught myself sitting or standing or walking on set and just smiling and thinking 'that is where i want to be. right here. right now.' i can't compare it to anything else in my life where i feel such a passion and sehnsucht (yeah, here only the german word can come close to what i feel..). and where i don't mind to spent hours preparing, thinking, figuring out etc.
so last sunday i auditioned again for a play. i did it before a couple weeks ago and didn't get the role which was sad. now i am kinda happy cause i don't really like the play anyway...:) the one last sunday was for a play of agathe christie. she writes all the mystery books and is quite famous for it. it went ok although afterwards i felt like i could have done more, been better. but oh well. now the next one is this upcoming weekend and it is for a shakespeare play. much ado about nothing. we have to prepare a monologue to audition and i already have two memorized, shakespeare ones. i am quite excited. such a beautiful language.
anyway, keep me in your prayers and thoughts. i am sending it out to the universe, if it is meant to happen i will get a part. although with this topic it is quite hard to let go for me. cause i sooo much would like to have it. but i know there is a part somewhere along my way. i manifested it. so now i just need to audition and wait.
love you all lots. hope you too have a passion in your life that makes you happy and feel like you want to jump up and down because it is just sooo good and feels sooo amazing.
jewels
1 comment:
OK Jewels - have you heard the expression "Follow your bliss!"? It means that one must trust that whatever really makes one feel alive is the right thing to do. On the other hand, you know that acting is very demanding -lots of studies, lots of competition, lots of uncertainty. Lots of crazy people to tolerate and even to work closely with without getting caught up in their dramas. Little money, much work, but great emotional rewards when the audience becomes enthralled by a great play well produced and magic happens. Quite the opposite of dish washing; yet there are more actors washing dishes and serving and busing tables than on the stage or even rehearsing at any moment.
Follow your bliss with open eyes, Jewels. We love you and hope you are successful! S~
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