winter walks

hello dear friends and family,

i just c

ame home from a lovely walk. i saw about a million wild geese chatting along with their fast tongues. now i am back home, it is nice and cozy and i am about to watch 'breakfast at tiffany's' which i have never seen and very keen to finally enjoy. i already watched 'amelie' today and again this glorious story captured me and made me want to live in paris. :) one day...

i have been very lazy the last couple da

ys which was nice. i rearranged my room and i just love it now. it is so cozy and feels homey for the first time since i have moved in here.

tomorrow i will be helping a friend who is moving from one appartment to another. and then at night a dear friend of mine has a good-bye party as she will be leaving for france to live and work a the plum village. a community which was formed by the buddhist monk thich nhat hanh founded. she will be staying there for one month.

canada covered with snow,

much love to you all.

jewels

sweet winter magic

ode to hot chocolate -

hot chocolate

on a brisk

winter night

deliciously brown liquid gold

makes me

happy

inside

warms me up

fills me out

makes me smile

makes me shine

deliciously

chocolaty

with foam on top.

sweet winter magic

hello dear family and friends,

i am writing to you comfortably seated on my bed in my upstairs room. i am leaning against a very cold wall (yeah, insulation has left for the winter..:)), and when i look out of the window to my left i can see snow falling. slowly, not rushed and unbelievably silent. today i am working my last day before christmas at the cornerstone. since last monday when i worked there i have been having this really intense cough which is still with me today. my voice kept leaving me every now and then during the last week. this weekend i had rehearsals saturday and sunday and therefore i had to talk my share bit. so by yesterday night my voice did these really funny things of shrieking every now and then which made my speech rather...well, interesting. i felt like a teenage boy trying to control the way my voice sounded but well, that made it even worse. so i decided to let my voice just do its thing - it is after all christmas - and simply went with it. i personally think that my voice (any voice really) sounds rather sexy when sick... except again the shrieking...:)

anyway, i realized on saturday that christmas is coming up. it is always the same with me. christmas has the tendency to just sneak up on me with a big 'bOOOOh' the day before... i mean since costa rica the actual day doesn't mean that much to me any more. i think christmas could be any day of the year. but i enjoy getting together with people, sharing food and just having a nice and lazy time with the people i love. while it is snowing outside and the world seemed to have stopped so there is nothing else really to do anyway.

i soon have to get dressed and walk downtown to start working so just want to send out my love to every one of you. i feel deeply blessed to have you all in my life. may you have a wonderful and magical time this season with your beloved once. may we all share the love with each other that connects us very deep and eternally.

namaste.

may peace fill your heart, your mind and your spirit.

may you feel loved and appreciated.

may you be surrounded by generous people and kindred souls

may you feel understood.

and may you shine your own special light

always.

jewels

mhmmm..

not bad. a few are burnt. but oh well...:)

gluecksgefuehle

i am sitting in my living room, joe cocker is singing and i am in the middle of making christmas cookies. just went over to my neighbors to fetch a rolling pin (sp??). that is how you start a community. speak to your neighbor. i knocked on their door and this older couple let me in and we talked for 20min after i told them my misery of discovering AFTER i started the dough that i don't have a rolling pin. so these wonderful people looked everywhere in the kitchen and when she couldn't find it her husband went downstairs and after 5min came back up beaming and holding up not one but 2 rolling pins for me to chose from. love it. they told me that they have been to germany. so we talked about where they went. 'munich, oberammergau and then also where was that pub where hitler used to take his buddies??' hmm, don't know right this second...:) anyway we had a nice chat and i left all excited and happy, skipping while crossing over to our front yard.

when i look out of the window there is snow everywhere. someone on a jet ski (again sp??) drove up and down the road and made a lot of noise. but besides that it is very quiet.

so today again was a day of caring a big belly with me. i wore it yesterday for rehearsal and didn't take it off until now. and i am still caring it. it feels nice you know. it feels warm and cozy and it gives me 'gluecksgefuehle'...:) and it is another layer against the cold wind..

this morning when i woke up i looked outside and it was snowing. it makes me sooo happy. all the way downtown to buy some groceries i was laughing and smiling and just loving the sound of my shoes walking on SNOW. the smell reminded me off the ski vacation my family and i did when i was younger. we drove to switzerland to ski for a couple weeks. and the smell of freshly fallen snow, the clear air and the white sky are very vividly in my mind. also the bundling up and going for walks which back then seemed to take FOREVER only to come home and have a hot chocolate and some cookies. (which for me was the best part..) so today i am all grown-up baking my own christmas cookies using my moms recipe:). i lit some candles, there is hot tea ready to be enjoyed and lovely music is playing.

tonight there is another rehearsal for shakespeare. but there is also a game night at the cornerstone so i am tempted to skip rehearsal tonight and go PLAY. my scene is FAR into the play and giving the speed they had on tuesday they won't make it farther than the 2nd act. :) jewels, the rebel..:)

i was supposed to watch rowan today but because mary-kate, her mother, was gone for the last 3 days she called me this morning and said that today is a mother and daughter day. so i had the day off. i could use the money but instead i had a long breakfast and had this strong feeling that i want to bake cookies today. and here i am. the dough is in the fridge and waits for me to take it out. i bought a gingerman cookie cutter and can't wait to make tons of gingermen...:) only without ginger.

so lets get started.

happy gingerman- hugs around the world. wherever you may read this at the moment. may you feel happiness and contentment in your heart. and something warm in your belly.:)

jewels

something about snow...

...that makes me happy.

this morning when i looked out my window the world around me was covered with a soft blanket of snow. it feels so peaceful. until the snowplough comes through and clears the streets everything is very quiet. for a moment or two it seems like the world has come to a stop and just breathes in the marvelous air of freshly fallen snow. there is something about the silence after a snow fall that has always fascinated me. it seems snow functions like a soothing blanket, a hug from above and the world gives in and relaxes. i love it.

yesterday night was Shakespeare night. i had another rehearsal, our second but this time we took our time and read really slowly and spoke about what we were reading. wow, Shakespeare is a master when it comes to language. he can write sentences that seem harmless but when you know about the time period and what was going on back then the meaning can suddenly change and you might have something rather insulting. it is fascinating. for me many monologues are just a blur of beautiful sounding words but the meaning? i make it up along the way. most of the time i am pretty close but sometimes i can be far off the actual meaning. so it was quite fun to listen to all these Shakespeare fans discussing the content and slowly but surely discovering that i had understood it completely different. if you just take his words as they are with your modern mind setting and understanding you can gallop far in the opposite direction without even recognizing it. i find it fascinating that even though every one had the same script with the same words in it we all understood it different. (i, of course was the one the farthest of...:))

and so i wondered... how much of what we say to each other is actually understood the way we said it? or even better how much of what we say is actually what we mean? because we all have different minds filled with different stories, experiences and teachings. so when and how can we be totally clear? and when can we be certain that the other person actually understands what we are talking about, left alone what we are feeling? cause understanding what we are thinking is one thing but understanding what and how the other person is feeling is a whole new story... that requires a whole different knowledge of vocabulary.

we talked and discussed and on my part, listened :), for 3 hours and only made it though the first act. oh Shakespeare. many times during the evening i caught myself wishing i could ask him in person and let him explain it. so why again did you write it that way? and did you really mean it like that? or are we miles off? and of course he would answer me with an understanding of the 16th century . wow, i guess that conversation would be rather confusing...;)

so tonight i will be again rehearsing. this time in Fergus and this time i do understand what i am saying. but again does that mean i know what it means? ...

i am sending everyone a warm hug. may you feel peace and comfort today. and may you feel understood by the people around you.

;)

jewels

Gretchen and me

Me on the beautiful path

beautiful walk along the river

working on set with Ed

Guelph in a blur

beautiful canada

having my sister over

feeling at home with people

magical morning...

my dear friends and family,

i am opening this blog with a special request. my family back home in Germany goes through a challenging time at the moment. my aunt is in the hospital after an intense surgery to remove a tumor that was behind her eye. the surgery was last week but she is still in the hospital as the recovery process only slowly unfolds. my aunt has two sons and a caring husband as well as my mother as her sister and my grandparents as her parents. they all worry and pray a lot these days. so lets send our thoughts to them as well as our love. i do believe in healing even over a distance and i am sure she will feel our support. i would love to hug her or hold her hand but i also know i can be a strong and helpful support even from far away. those are moments though were the physical distance becomes as clear to me as ever. anyway, lets keep them in our prayers.

my life has taken a wonderful turn last week. i am not sure if i wrote on my blog that i auditioned for a play way back in September when my sister was still here. i didn't get the role back then because they decided to go with another girl. it was apparently pretty close but for whatever reason - back then i didn't know- they chose her. i got busy with 'that summer' and then more recently with other auditions so that i didn't really forgot but well, i didn't think about that audition and their decision any longer. i have felt in my heart though the whole tome that i would be a perfect match as the characters life and my one has quite a few similarities. well, last week on Tuesday i came home and there was a voice message on the phone from the director of the play that said to please call her back. so i did and as it turned out the girl they chose has some personal problems that she has to take care of and so the director offered the role again to me. and i said YES!!!!! and then i found out that the only reason why they didn't take me in the first place was that they were worried about my slight accent that is still noticeable when i am not sure how to pronounce a word or when i am nervous.

so i am now playing Carolyn in 'having hope at home' by David Craig, a Canadian. it is a comedy with heart i would say. Carolyn is 9 months pregnant and hasn't see her parents in 3 years (seems kinda familiar doesn't it...i mean, the parents part..:)). the play takes place on a winter evening when Carolyn expects her parents over for dinner. just before they arrive her labour starts. she is determent to have this dinner anyway and so prove her parents that she can do something without canceling. anyway, Carolyn and her french-canadian fiance Michel planned to have a home birth with a midwife. Caro's father though works at city hospital as a doctor for gynaecology so Carolyn needs to hid her labour as she is certain that if he finds out about the home birth he won't talk to her again... so the parents arrive, and soon after that also the midwife, who Michel in is anxiety called to come - against Carolyn's wish. so Carolyn's grandpa who they live with pretends her to be his girlfriend in front of carolyns parents. so the fun begins....

it is a lovely story with real characters and heart. in the end there is a newborn and tears and well, yes happiness. 'hope' has been born.

to prepare myself for the role i have been running around with a belly for the past 2 days. one insight i got was: it is IN THE WAY!!!... i tried to bike my bicycle and had to acknowledge that there is something biking with me. trying to kneel down to pick something up is always fun cause i need to bend in a very funny way in order to not squeeze the 'baby' and get crushed myself. and as Carolyn says in the play: 'i feel like a beached wale'. even though it is not my real belly and there is not a real baby in it (it is not even heavy) i feel big and awkward. the really cool part is though that people are really nice to you. they open the door and are very understanding when you take longer.:)

the play opens in February. if any one happens to be nearby...:)

i talked to a guy yesterday at the cornerstone, my one shift a week is on Mondays. he looks after crows and eagles here at the university of Guelph. we talked about the crow he is working with and that made me want to look up that bird. i mean i have heart a lot about it in fairy tales and such but i never really thought about them. i always found them magical due to their shining blackness, and the sound they make always remembers me of fairy tales and magic. (for those who grew up in Germany there was once a children show on TV with a witch, a speaking suitcase and a crow... the crow always took shining things and hid them...) anyway, my sister bought this really amazing book for me while being in the states. it is called 'animal speak. the spiritual& magical powers of creatures great& small' by Ted Andrews.

so here is what i learned:

he talks about their color black: 'black is the color of creation. it is the womb out of which the new is born. it is also the color of the night. black is the maternal color and this the black night gives birth to a new day.' - interesting, isn't it how our society associates black with darkness, negativeness, fear and badness...

here is something about there way of talking: 'learning to understand the language of crows is something we all can do with practice. although it has no tongue, it does not use the tongue to make the sounds'. how much noise to we create that is not necessary?

crows as 'weather frogs': 'as with many animals, crows also have been known to predict tornadoes, rain and other changes in weather by the way they fly. working with crows can help you to see how the winds are going to blow into your life and how to adjust you own life flights.'

and in general: 'wherever crows are, there is magic. they are symbols of creation and spiritual strength. they remind us to look for opportunities to create and manifest magic in life. they are messengers calling to us about the creation and magic that is alive within our world everyday and available to us.'

i thought that to be rather interesting. especially because i looked it up yesterday night before i went to bed and after my conversation at the cornerstone. and when i had breakfast this morning and i looked out of the window what did i see? a crow payed me a visit. it was carrying some sort of food in her month, maybe cheese maybe bread i don't know. it walked around in the front yard and then flew off. and that happened after i had a very deep and profound meditation where i connected with my family especially with my aunt and her folks in Germany. i send them my love and support and felt really out of it when i got out of the meditation. and there it was. the crow. i love it.

i want to spent this month studying more of that book and learning more about the different medicine every animal can carry for us. it fascinates me. i also want to paint my room and make it more cozy and homey. i like i already but it still doesn't feel like total home to me.

i will also do some more job searching and such cause with the hours i am working right now i probably won't be able to make it much farther then January. i have some more nanny jobs in sight and i hope to hear back from hempire where i had an interview already. i might even go by there today and see how things are. i am sooo excited about my role and finally being able to act in a real production that i have spent most of my time studying my lines and preparing myself for it instead of focusing on these other things.. oh well, i just want to cherish this feeling..

so, yes my dear friends and family i feel really happy at the moment. i feel blessed to be healthy and strong and enabled to live my life the way i do. i also feel so blessed lately for my time in Costa Rica. 'the revolution project' where i stayed for 2 months really opened my heart and soul and spirit and helped me immensely to be the person i am meant to be. to listen to my calling and my heart. every time i am challenged with a situation or a thought, this warm soothing knowledge crawls up my spin into my heart and i remember what i have been taught by Andres and Zahrah and every one who lived there.

i manifest to have more meditation and dance in my life. because although i do yoga in the morning and mediate afterwards for a while it is not as deep and profound as it was back in Costa Rica. and dance?? well, dance just opens one's heart and soul and makes me personally very happy.

so i embrace every one of you wherever you are on your personal journey. feel free to post a comment if you feel like it. i would love to touch base with you that way!

may you have peace in your heart and a smile on your lips.

hakuna matata.

;)

jewels

thursday, 10pm, my world is magical. how is yours?

hello dear friends and family,

as i probably mentioned in my last blog (maybe i should read the blogs already written before i write another one...oh well...) i auditioned for an agathe christe play on sunday. i felt afterwards as i left the building i could have done better, could have shown them more variety, more emotions etc. i wasn't very pleased with myself. and as i was walking home yesterday night after i attended a musical called tommy (weird story...weird musical...mhmm) all caught up in the typiucal emotions i feel after seeing and being in a theater and been captured in the theater world by an impressing play, i felt very sad (as always when i am in the audience) that I wasn't on stage. that i wasn't part of that production. and my thoughts went back to the audition and i felt really sad and frustrated and angry too that they haven't called back yet and that it is in the hand of OTHERS to decide whether or not i will be on stage soon. then at one point of my walk home i stopped in the middle of my movement and i spoke out loud: 'alright universe, you got me here. i am guilty as susie's hand in the candy jar. i am trying to be the decision maker in my life, i am the one thinking i know what is right for me and where i need to go in order to be happy. well, shitty shit i have NO clue. and i give it up. i leave it up to YOU. i surrender. here take it. i trust you. i know there is a perfect role for me out there. and things will simply fall into place if they are right. i trust you.' i didn't feel that much better afterwards but i could feel a slight burden was taken from me. and i smiled.

well, what can i say, when i got home i saw that steve had left a note on the steps. it said: vision theater called. they want you back for callbacks.

shubdidu.

there it was. blue on white. well i went back there tonight and acted my a** out!!! i died and cried and screamed. i am an actress. cheese, i really am. so now i am all blushed and hot and full of vibrant theatrical energy. I LOVE IT. i can't even describe how much i love it. how much it moves me and how deep it goes. i feel so blessed that i can do this. that i am in this country, in this beautiful body, having such beautiful people around me, here and in germany who support me and believe in me. and most important of all: that i believe in ME. no matter what happens after tonight i feel so grateful for these couple hours that i was able to play again..

the auditions for the shakespearian play are coming up this weekend and i want to go out there and shake that stage, just for the sake of my love to that language and that wonderful man who wrote these amazing plays. just for the fun and joy i get from being on stage and performing.

they will call me probably tomorrow about the agathe christie play and tell me their decision. i will have to figure out what to do when i get the role. i definitely want to do the shakespeare one but i am not sure if i can do both. and i won't know about the shakespeare one until monday probably.. oh well, here again, universe i leave it up to you... guide me.

love to you all. i am very happy at this moment. may my happiness and joy inspire you and lift you up wherever you are in your life right now!!!

namaste,

jewels

just a quick note...

hello dear family and friends,

just a short notice that i am still alive and feeling better. yes, the flu or whatever it was that i had is mostly gone. i still have a little cough that just doesn't want to leave but besides that i am feeling fine.

my life here is in a transition. i decided while i was sick that i am NOT happy with only dishwashing as my occupation so i talked to my boss and now i am only working once a week just for the 'fun' of it and to stay in touch with all the wonderful people who work there. so now i am looking for something else to do that i enjoy and at the same time enables me to eat and drink and go to the theater.

oh yes, theater. i am back. one hundred procent. with all its passion and love. we just finished our show in fergus where i was the asm (assistant stage manager). so i was wearing a fancy headset etc. it was fun. and while i was sitting behind the curtain, watching my fellow actors and actresses, waiting for my next cue i felt this deep, profound yearning to be back on stage. at times i caught myself sitting or standing or walking on set and just smiling and thinking 'that is where i want to be. right here. right now.' i can't compare it to anything else in my life where i feel such a passion and sehnsucht (yeah, here only the german word can come close to what i feel..). and where i don't mind to spent hours preparing, thinking, figuring out etc.

so last sunday i auditioned again for a play. i did it before a couple weeks ago and didn't get the role which was sad. now i am kinda happy cause i don't really like the play anyway...:) the one last sunday was for a play of agathe christie. she writes all the mystery books and is quite famous for it. it went ok although afterwards i felt like i could have done more, been better. but oh well. now the next one is this upcoming weekend and it is for a shakespeare play. much ado about nothing. we have to prepare a monologue to audition and i already have two memorized, shakespeare ones. i am quite excited. such a beautiful language.

anyway, keep me in your prayers and thoughts. i am sending it out to the universe, if it is meant to happen i will get a part. although with this topic it is quite hard to let go for me. cause i sooo much would like to have it. but i know there is a part somewhere along my way. i manifested it. so now i just need to audition and wait.

love you all lots. hope you too have a passion in your life that makes you happy and feel like you want to jump up and down because it is just sooo good and feels sooo amazing.

jewels

oh well...

hi dear friends and family,

well, so much hasn't changed since the last entry. you find me again bundled up and this time coughing and sweating at home. i feel really sick and it seems like it is not getting better. i left work early yesterday cause i just couldn't make it through. luckily i have understanding and caring people who send me home after the biggest rush had left. so now i am drinking orange juice by the liter and try to sleep as much as i can...

watched a very lovely movie. last chance harvey...could see myself in the movie...somewhat saddening and encouraging at the same time..

love you all,

cough, cough,

jewels

between dispicing and loving..

hello dear family of friends:)

today i am writing you bundled up in 4 layers of clothing and tucked into bed under 2 blankets. i am sick. or at least my body is sick. i am having a cold. i feel hot and stuffed and my energy resources are very limited so that even a phone call or conversation sends me back to bed to sleep some more. and that is basically what i have done today. sleeping. only interrupted by my pineapple-oranges-kiwi meals. i am feeling much better then yesterday but still i am sick. and i am supposed to work tonight. from 5-12 midnight.

well at 1pm this afternoon i figured i won't be able to make it through 8 hours of friday night cornerstone dishwashing. i might be able to do 4 and then go straight home and crash. so i called a couple people and tried to find someone to help me with my shift. no luck. and then there came the phone call that showed me again why i am still dishwashing for this cafe. a phone call that showed me again how a business CAN be run. blake, the kitchen manager called and i told him that i was sick and he asked if i could at least work for a couple hours. if that works for me HE will find someone else to cover the rest. i said that that would be fine and that i was already calling people to see who can share my shift with me. then i asked him what i could to for him as he was the one who called and he answered:

just be your awesome self and drink lots of orange juice. i see you later.

those are the moments when i love the place i am working for and i know why i am still there.

i send the wish out that each of you can experience such a moment.

jewels

something about a bath...

hi dear family and friends,

it is tuesday night around 8pm, i am freshly bathed and smell delicious. i am sitting on my bed, music can be heart from downstairs, a fragrance stick is burning and fills the room with its amazing aroma. i feel warm, happy, cozy and at peace.

i had a good day.

it was one of those days that start like every other and from which i didn't expect anything. and it just onfolded, floating along like a happy, lazy and at peace little stream in the forest. i watched rowan this morning for a couple hours and helped romona get ready for her trip to nyc. she is on the bus now. and will be until tomorrow morning,. it is a 13 hour ride to nyc. not that much. but still. she bought 3 bottles of water. and a couple muffins for on the way. well, my lunch box always looked quite different. several sandwiches, crackers maybe some water...:)

i just found out today that there is a nice little park close by that belongs to the hospital. we took rowan for a walk there and she feel asleep on the way. i am so happy that there is a park close to where i live so i can go for walks and such.

after i dropped of ramona at the bus stop i walked home in the lovely fall air. i had a long bath and just enjoyed how the warmth of the water relaxed my mussels and my soul. i had some candle lit and there is something about a bath that just makes me happy every time i have one.i feel really blessed that i live in a country where i can have a bath and the luxury of warm water in abundance.

when i worked at the cornerstone today i felt like my brain was still at home. as if it got caught on the way out of the house and i left without it. i am usually really good at having everything under control and knowing what to do next etc. but today i was just floating. starting something and then running off to do something else and forgetting what it was that i had originally done. it was weird. i had something to eat cause i thought i might be hungry but it did not help. so i was very happy when i was able to leave at 5pm.

around 2pm everything was pretty quiet so jer, the server in charge decided to have a smoke outside in the back and leave me with the couple guests for a couple minutes. well, as soon as he left 9 people came in and i was busy getting menues out and orders served. it was quite stressful for a minute and the thought came up: 'ha, so that is how it feels when i am a server'...

the other day there was another jewels-moment. i think it was last friday when i was working and it was raining really hard outside. there were 3 girls on one table and the 4th just came in the door. the other server was busy so i went over there and said: hi, how are you today? it is quite chilly outside, ej?? and you got totally wet. can i get you a cup of tea? and the girl says, yeah, it is raining pretty hard but i had my raincoat on so i didn't get wet. and i am like: oh cool, i just meant cause your hair is wet. and the girl looks up to me and goes: mhm, it is not wet just fatty.

oh well.;>)

i am sending you blessings and hope you have a moment where you feel as cozy as i do right now.

love,

jewels

happy thanksgiving!!!

dear friends and family,

i am sitting here in our living room on metcalfe street, enya is singing, my older sister is sitting beside me writing on the computer, we just finished a pumpkin soup for our thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and i am feeling cozy and comfortable tired.i have worked today a very slow and easy shift. nevertheless i am tired from all the standing, running and walking. tonight there is life music but i am not sure if i will go. we'll have to finish the soup tomorrow morning before we get picked up by a friend of mine.

it is thanksgiving weekend. traditionally thanksgiving is a day of celebration the year's harvest and food that mother earth has provided again. it is a feast of abundance and beauty. of laughter, hard work, people, friendship and gratitude.

i'm grateful too. for this life i am able to live. for the freedom i enjoy. for this healthy body that carries me everyday and that gives my soul a home. for this journey i am on. for lessons every day. for tears and laughter. for people. especially for people. every single one of you has touched my life at different times and stages of my journey. some of you are still walking with me in a physical form and with some of you i am still connected on a spiritual level. but all of you are important to me and all of you have inspired and helped my become the person i am today. many of you will continue being my teachers at different points in my life.

i feel blessed to know every one of you.

life is full of lessons and people who can become wonderful teachers and arms to lean on in times where i need someone to carry me a little while until my feet are strong enough again to walk on their own.

i carry you all in my heart and i am so full of gratitude to the universe that you were sent to become part of my story.

feel loved and hugged from me this thanksgiving.

i sending out the wish that every one of you can be thankful for something these days.

namaste,

jewels

rainy friday

dear family and friends, i am sitting at my desk in my room on metcalfe street, facing the window, listening to pachelbel's canon in d, constant rain is falling outside. i am drinking rooibus chai tea and nibbling on a 'lebkuchen' that my sister brought from germany. i feel lazy today and comfortable cozy. i don't really feel like leaving the house. but i am working at 1pm. my sister has left to see toronto for the day so i brought her to the bus on the corner this morning and then went straight back to bed.

it is nice to have her here. i showed her the cornerstone and the people i work with and who become my family away from my family in germany. she met rowan yesterday and we went to a transition town meeting together. transition guelph is a project that is happening in different towns all over the world i believe. the idea is to prepare for the peak-oil and post-oil times. it was quite interesting.

i think i will hop back in bed for a little bit. i will work later and cause it is friday and we'll have life music i expect it to be a stressful shift..:)

hope everyone will at on point treat themselves with a long and lazy morning..

love, jewels

night before sister's visit

hi dear friends and family,

it is my free day today. almost going to its end. i mostly relaxed today. after worrying about my shift tomorrow hoping to find someone to cover it so i can get my sister from the airport. my wonderful housemate steve is so wonderful to give me a ride so i can get her in toronto. it is an hour ride down there. she will arrive at 6:15pm and with costums and such i think she won't be out until 7pm. i think i till bring a snack for the way home.. but that is just thinking out loud.

i am excited. i think i am also kinda nervous to see how the reunion will unfold. to see how she'll fit in my lifestyle. i hope she will feel home here and welcome...

i wonder how she'll see me.... ui it is very exciting. life IS exciting and i don't even have to do anything..:)

may you feel the same excitement about this life experience of ours.

nameste,

jewels

happy october rain!

dear family and friends. i am sitting in my room, rain falls down outside, thunder and lighting are chasing each other. enya sings 'listen to the rain....here it comes again..'. i am happy. i purchased a beautiful old desk and chair this morning as well as some material to have a cover over my bed, some pillows and a blanket. my room smells like ylang ylang incense sticks and it reminds me of my old schoolfriend sara whose apartment smelt exactly like that. good memories. i love fall. i am getting ready to spent more time in the house and i just love decorating my room. i will pick out some paint in the next little while and paint the room. probably a greenish colour. i love fall for its smell. the leaves on the ground, the earth, the wind. and the feeling of making home comfortable so i can have tea, read a book or just look out of the window and watch the trees in the backyards move in the rain and wind. i love the feeling of being cold and coming home into a warm house. what a beautiful idea!!

i am so excited cause i am furnishing my room and it looks sooo lovely. and also my sister ramona is coming on tuesday. i just received the news today. i knew she was thinking of coming on oct 6 and i thought oh yeah, that is fine. it is such a loooong time away. well, it is tuesday. i am excited though. i haven't seen her for 2 years. i saw pics etc but i haven't hugged her for 2 years. and now she is coming in 3 days. she flies into toronto and i will pick her up at the airport. she will be here for a month until nov 5. i can show her my life and the people i love and live with. she and rowan were born on the same day. not the same year though..:)

steve and i were talking today about our minds. how they trick us into believing the thought that we HAVE to do something, always have to move and imrpve instead of simply being still. i talked to my dad today on skype (i was talking to the laptop screen. is that weird or what???) and he said that he doesn't feel like doing anything today but thinks he has to do at least SOMETHING. i think we all have these thoughts every now and then. i thought maybe we get more done if we don't do anything...

so i am enjoying myself listening to music and writing to you. it is dark already at 7:20pm. i will maybe ride by the cornerstone and have some tea and read. it really becomes my second home.

love you all.

i wish everyone a place besides from home where you can feel safe and where you are surrounded by wonderful people.

namaste,

jewels

gretchen's amazing wedding. what a wonderful day of love. celebrating life, love and family. from right to left: rachelle, katie, gretchen, justyn and me.

theater - my passion

hello dear friends and family,
it is 11:04pm on a tuesday night, i just got home from rehearsal. oh i enjoy it soo much. it is sooo cool to be back and a part of a theater production again!!!!
happy yeahs to you all,
jewels

life is good!!! full of..well, LIFE!!

hello dear friends and family, I am getting ready for my trip.
I AM SO EXCITED!!!!
this post is for anybody who is expiriencing a hard time
or dark time:
remember there is LIGHT AND LOVE AND BEAUTY
in this illusion
of life
that we are living in!!!
i am experiencing one of these moments of
pure joy and happiness
and i want to share it with you!!!
love, love and love to all of you!!!
JEWELS

it all works out

hello my dear friends and family,
the sun just set and ended a glorious day of sunshine and blue sky. it was a day of rest and friendship. i went to see my friends at meadowview where i babysit once a week. we had lunch together in their beautiful backyard. i talked to my landlord this morning and she refuses to pay me back the whole amount of money. her opinion is that she had to say no to two people when she said yes to me and now she has to start all over again. i tried to reason with her that i am in the same boat. i didn't mention to her that i can stay at my friend's house for the time being and even rent out a room here. but i still think we are both at the same point right now. and i don't feel responsible for not taking the room in the end cause if i hadn't seen her that drunk, NO if she hadn't been that drunk then i would have moved in by now. but i haven't even lived in that room or even moved anything in yet so why should i pay rent for that? yes it is too bad that she has to start all over again but so have i and i won't charge her any money. so i went to the police station and asked them for legal advice. they gave me a number to call cause they personally won't get involved cause it is too complicated. the whoile landlord/tenant thing. so i will call the number tomorrow and see what they say.
alrighty then, so far from here.
love
jewels

sunny sunday

hello dear friends and family,
i am sitting in the living room of my friend steve's house and am flooded by the late afternoon sun. enya is singing and i just wakened from my second nap today. i had a long shift yesterday at the cornerstone and was pretty exhausted. it is labor day weekend so people like to come for brunch to the cornerstone and therefore it was quite a busy morning/afternoon. the first hour felt like a whole day and there were six more hours to go.:) i was all over the place, washing dishes, making coffee, helping costumers, serving food, pouring beer etc. it was quite overwhelming at times. also giving the fact that i had quite a couple days before that. on monday i made the decision to take a room close to downtown rented out by a nice lady who is also a traveler and former teacher. i gave her my first month rent and was all happy and bought some stuff for my new room. we decided that i will drop off the secind month rent on friday so i went back to the house on thursday night cause it turned out i was able to pay her earlier and when i knocked on the door there was no answer. i knocked again and looked through the window and there she was. my new landlord to be.on the kitchen floor. semi-conscious. i went to the back casue i forgot my key that she gave to me on monday and she was sitting in the kitchen. not responding to my calls. when i knocked on the kitchen door she turned and told me to go away. she opened the door finally and couldn't form a whole sentence. i told her i will be back in the morning. luckily my friend cynthia was waiting in the car cause we came from a movie night and i was able to share this really sad encounter with her. i felt really sad and well...shocked. i mean i know there is alcoholism and such but actually seeing someone that drunk is pretty impressive. it was also the full moom that day and i was struggling with the whole payment for the room for most of the week, again all in my head and well, that encounter was just the last bit. i was pretty exhausted. i have friends here though. wonderful people who help me. i had already moved to steve and he offered me to stay as long as i need to. so i have a roof over my head but the feeling of still being on the move and search is still in me and makes me feel unbalanced and shaky. i went back on friday and talked to the woman, lets call her S. not surprisinlgy she didn't remember anything that happened including me being there when she was that drunk. she was a little embarrassed i could tell and when i broke the news that i don't want to take the room she was really shocked and tried to convinve myself that it won't happen again and that she is going to an AA meeting that night and that she really want me to come etc. i could literally hear the addict in her speaking when she said it won't EVER happen again and she just let herself go cause of all the stress with the house (she is also renovating right now). i told her i will think about it over the weekend and come back to her on monday. i knew even then that i won't take the room casue it doesn't feel like a safe environment for me to be living in. i could have said that right there and then and asked for my money but i am such a good person and well wanted to give her a chance. i won't take the room though. but brake that news to an addict. 'hi, well sorry but i just don't think you are a safe environment for me to live in.'???? it is not my responsibility and all and i know that and yet, i am still a student when it comes to sayting what i want. sometimes i am better sometimes it takes more efford.
so here i am. jewels the traveler, mover. eagerly searching for a longterm housing situation. also not feeling that satisfied with my jopb situation and trying to solve all these challenges at once. and then when i woke up on saturday morning to my alarm clock the radio was playing a song and the line i heart first was 'you will find your place'. boom. right in my face. alright. i surrender.
the whole S.-room-rent-situation was kinda forced anyway from my side. i didn't have the money in cash but rather in a paycheck that i couldn't cash in cause it said jewels on it and not julia k.like in my passport and also becasue i don't have a bank account yet. so i had to ask my boss to cash it out for me. and my second paycheck didn't arrive in time so i had to ask different people to loan me money. so every thing didn't flow around that arrangment. so i could have noticed that right then but i guess i needed to find her on the kitchen floor frist to recognize that this is not the right room. so actually i am quite lucky. even though my mind is trying to convince me that i am not. quite the opposite. cause i have been in guelph now for over 2 months and i am still not renting but staying with different people, hopping from one house to the next. which saved me the rent so far which is a good thing right???:)
oh well. this is it. i am again reading a book ( i just picked it up today and well, it was another 'boom' right in my face. exactly what i needed to hear. in a nutshell: don't panic or worry but let it flow and things will fall into place.) called 'the tao of pooh' by benjamin hoff ( i recommend it to everyone who is struggling with this mind of ours!!) and there mister hoff explains through pooh the bear the idea of taoism. with pooh being that little funny bear who is trying to figure out life and different challenges from a posotve ancle. which turns out to be not that different from taoism. it is quite amusing and eye opening. so anyhow he quotes at one point henry daivd thoreau, who wrote at one point:

why should we live with such a hurry and waste of life? we are determined to
be starved before we are hungry. men say that a stitch in time saves nine, so
they take a thousand stitches to-day to save nine tomorrow

that's how i felt for the last couple weeks actually most of my life. running. to reach somehting i am not quite sure of what it exactly is. but just stopping can't be for any good, right? i mean NOTHING gets done. that can't be any good for the future. so i keep running and looking and figuring out. not only in the physical way like my travels all over canada and part of the us and central america but also in my head. my mind is constantly running. trying to cnvince me to make sure not to stop cause there are so many things to figure out and wrap my head around. strangly enough though if i follow my mind and get all caught up in solving every problem or issue around me there are only more coming up, popping up from nowhere crying 'ME TOO'.
and then i realize what i have been doing and stop and decide not to worry anymore and simply surrender and trust and let go. and things move the way they do. until i get caught up in the next challenge and the spiel starts all over again.
so today i stopped. well, not really i washed all my like-cornerstone-smelling clothes and organized my room. but cleaning can be really helpful. i feel more relaxed and at ease. i spent some time in the sun and reading. and sleeping. so now i am sleepy but happy. i might go to the cornerstone tonight. there will be live music like every sunday. maybe i call cynthia to come with me. maybe not. i feel lazy and that feels good.
so my friends, life is like a stream. if we fight against the currents and waves we just get tired and might sink. if we fload in it at peace and in trust that things will move along and at one point we WILL actually be up over the surface again then we are safe in the arms of the water and it actually CARRIES us. what a wonderful image. we are safe in all the turmoil of life IN life.
love to everyone.
to my sister svenja who is still in vietnam.
to my aunt heike who i am with in my thoughts a lot
and to life in gratitude for all the challenges i manifest
jewels

rain in guelph

dear friends and family,
i am writing you all from the public library in guelph. it is saturday and i just came from the market. my backpack is full of yummy local food and i am content.
i attended a yoga retreat last week. so every morning i biked to melina's house, the yoga teacher, and we medidated for 30 minutes and did yoga together. it was a nice group of 7 women. i really needed that space in the morning to calm my mind and find the balance i felt in costa rica. my mind was constantly rushing and throwing these issues at my heart. all theses decisions that i am suppose to make. I am still not home yet. meaning I haven't find a room yet that fit my criteria. and although i am trying to be patient and trusting I am tired. I am longing for a place to feel home and safe and settle. I am also not a hundred procent where I want to be in my job search and so my mind was just taking over in the last couple weeks drving me a little crazy. I know in my heart things will move and and work out but I am tired. I am tired of having my stuff spread all over town at different people's houses and I am tired of not knowing what contact address to give. I am tired at looking at rooms, trying them out and not feeling safe at the places i am.it really teaches me that home is something special.
i am trying to get my schedule changed that way i will only work during the week. i am watching rowan only once a week and then i want to try to find a job that really fullfuls me on another level . meaning dishwashing is fullfilling in many ways. don't get me wrong. for example by now i can totally read the dishwasher and its moods. i know even before the green light shuts off that the circle is complete just cause the sound of the motor changes.i am a professional now on how to coordinate all the other tasks around me. so now i can serve coffee, ring another costumer through, make more coffee, open the dishwasher so the dishes can cool off, wash the cheese grade machine that the kitchen likes to throw in my sink when there are already a million other things in it, clean the trash cans in the bathrooms, get more ice for the drinks, run downstairs and grab 8 tomatoes, 5 avocados, 1 bucket of tofu, 3 green onions, cucumbers, fruit salat and toilet paper. i use my hands, head, shoulder and arms to balance all the things will scrubing the floor on my way up. that's what i call multi tasking.
what i like most about the job is actually interacting with the costumer. that's what i really enjoy. by now the machine that is used to ring people through and i are on a semi-peaceful stand. before i would put things in and order stuff and it would just not do it or do sometung differnet or i wouldn't do it the right way and had to do it all over again while people were waiting in line. that is fun. and then all the different ways to pay. in the beginning i would look over my shoulder and check if the costumer has cash on her and if so i would run her through. if not and she was holding a credit card i would simply turn back to my dishes and ignore her working ficiously. casue there are different ways to handle the different cards. visa is dfferent from debit. one time you have to put the end in forst and then slide it through the other time you just need to slide it through twice.
oh well. my time here is almost up.
i am sending you all love and peace.
today to my sister in vietnam and my opi whose birthday is today. and to stream for being so wonderful.
jewels

abundance of happiness

dear friends and family,
I am sitting on the 2nd floor on Meadowview, Norah Jones is playing in the background, I am on the balcony overlooking the backyard. a wind is blowing and it smells like rain and thunderstorm. the sky is white and the trees are dancing in the breeze. I am happy. I walked Auma, the husky this morning and while we were exploring the park near by I suddenly couldn't help but smile! I just love the time before the rain starts to fall. the air smells sooo good and feels so soft. almost like it is touching me gently, kissing and embracing my body. mhm, feels good.
i am off today. that feels good too.:) I was looking at a room yesterday. Sue, the woman who will be renting it out to me made a really cool suggestion. I could come over and stay for a while and see how it feels. So I will be moving in on Thursday for a couple days/week. She has Parkinson and attends a special treatment. She doesn't take any medication but rather follows a chinese medicine treatment plan. I like her. The street she is living on is pretty cool and there are lots of interesting people. We'll see.
On Saturday I attended another poetry slam event and this time I performed one of the pieces I write myself. That was amazing. I missed being on stage. I missed performing. It felt so good. And once I was done and back in my seat I just wanted to go back up and do another one.:) It is very interesting to listen to all these different people and their views and opinion. Some of the people who perform really have a good feel for language and they can play with it really well. I love how language can be so beautiful. I almost wish sometimes I could drink the words cause they sound so sweet and wonderful.:)
Anyway, I am sending you all my blessings.
Today for my little sister who is flying to Vietnam in 4 days!!!
And for stream and tania for just being awesome!!!
Love you lots,
Jewels

wonderful sweet Rowan!!

meadowview - summer - sun - blue sky - breeze

hello dear friends and family,
I am enjoying a work-free friday afternoon in the backyard of my current home - meadowivew. the sun is shining , there is a breeze and i am sitting in the shade of a beautiful old and tall tree. it smells like summer and heat and summer holidays. i kept thinking this morning while picking beans that this is how a perfect day in france (hello dear la tranche fans..:)) would look like. relaxed and beautiful. i was volunteering this moring for a local project called 'backyard bounty'. it is a farm with no land. at least not in one spot. people sign up who would like to gove some of their backyyard land to this prpject and then the project turns that space into beds. it was my first time today that i volunteered and it was just so nice to be back on the land and in nature. while i was picking purple beans i was remembering last summe. the smells of the purple bean plant brought me back to vancouver island and whole village. so many good memories.
greetings,
jewels

our journeys

dear friends and family,

days pass and become weeks and then months. it has been a month since i moved to guelph. and so many things happened. as i kinda watch the changes and events happening and shapening my life kind like a observer i feel relaxed and safe. i trust. sometimes that feeling is stringer sometimes not. i was honered to attend a memorial service for june gilbertson the woman i house sitted for. june and michael and her their daughter meggan went to ireland to see their relatives. june has cancer and while in ireland her health started to get worse and they decided to come home earlier. so i had to move out and over to mary-kate and her husband mike's place. mary-kate is their other daughter. while on the way over here june died on the airplane. half-way through heaven in the sky over ireland the counrty where she was born. i cycle closes. it was amazing to see and observe this family grief and at the same time celebrate her life. june touched so many lifes and all these lifes all these people came by or called or wrote as soon as they heart the news and shared their stories with june. it was very sad and there were many tears but at the same time that time was so full of love and passion for life and for june. last sunday was the memorial service and it was the most beautiful service i have ever attended. full of june, love, friendship and life. celebrating a woman's journey with all the people she has touched. and there were many. we cried and laughed together and it was so amazing. and so inspiring. it gave me another confirmation to lived this life, my life the way i like it and to the best i can do. i thought to myself i'd like to have people say the same thing at my memorial service. that i lived in community, shared, helped, inspired, hugged and loved. and embraced life and nature and the universe just like june. so my j in jewels or julia as my family knows me stands for june. as a loving reminder and to remember that i have a purpose.

so now i am house sitting for ben and christy as well as mary-kate and mike who are all living in the same house. they are all gone. ben and christy to ireland and mary0kate and mike on a canoe trip.

i am looking at different rooms at the moment and it is great as the whole community seems to try to help me find a spot i like. it is a challenge sometimes to remember to trust and simply surrender when these thoughts come up trying to convince me that i should have a room by now or it just won't work out. but it will. i will see another 2 tomorrow and i am emailing with another 2 people. i will be working saturday and sunday but will have off monday  and tuesday becuase rowan is also canoeing. so that gives me time to look at the different rooms.

how is my job? well, dishes seem to get dirty every time i enter the room and well they keep getting dirty until i leave the kitchen...;) i know my way around by now and also know the other people who are working there and they are fun. it is still very busy and i am not sure how long i will be doing that but we'll see. 

sending you all love and passion for this beautiful life we are all invited to live!

hakuna matata - that is for my friend jule who just started her time in africa. for a beautiful time there and an amazing experience!!

jewels

work day number 1

ui ui ui, wow my first shift lays behind me. 8 hours of washing, soaking, rinsing, scrubing, carrying and putting away dishes. cubs, and plates and glasses and pans and pots and cutting boards and spoons and forks and knifes and cubs and plates and... you get the picture..:) apparently it was a low day. oh well. so while i was up to my ellbows in dishwash water trying to save pots from tomatoe sauce, pesto pasta and the like i got an introduction for how to make coffee. oh you haven't done that yet? well here it goes...it is very easy. just put this into that, dont' take that one but this one, don't push it too hard, push it hard, left, right, up down and go for it...mhm... ok. and back to my dishes. every five minutes i needed to ask someone where to put something or where i find this or that. then an erand to the local store, ok we buy this tofu not that one, this soya sauce but not that one and don't take any other dressing that this one. ok. and off we wenrt to the next store to get another kind of tofu. then back to my dishes. hi jewels, can you get some tomatoes. sure where do they live? well, if you go down the stairs, turn left then right, then up and down and look through your third eye there is a box with tomatoes. you can't miss it. sure. alright down i went, actually found the tomatoes brought them up without squizzing them and the cook was happy. and back to my dishes. somehow every time i thought i got control over it there was another pile. so i started to philosophy about that. isn't our life like washing dishes? every time we think we figured it out, we got what we want, we are finally happy and content we realize there is another pile waiting for us, all dirty and laughing in our faces? isn't there always another challenge once we got over the one that seemed the biggest EVER?? you have time to think when you wash dishes that is very postive. unless somebody needs something or wants to widen my horizon about kitchen duties. which i appreciate but my brain was already high from the bleach water and all i could thing of was 'soap, rinse, bleach.soap,rinse, bleach.soap...' oh did you talk to me? sorry, what?:)
the time went surprisingly fast though. my shift was from 1-9pm and only around 5 i was in a deep soapy hole and thought time just doesn't move anymore. everything was moving sooo slow exept the dishes which seem to happy pile up one after another. around 6 i took a break and had something to eat. yes and i used a plate. ha. knowing that i will be the one who will clean it. sigh. the people are pretty cool and it was fun to work with them. some get annoyed earlier of my questions and confused looks some seem to have infinite patience. and then around 7:30pm i suddenly had this happyness shot creaping up my body into my head. probaly cause the end was nay.:) i started to sing and dance and the dishes seemed to clean themselves. like in cinderella. by then i smelled like bleach, had bleach all over me and acutally felt like a bar of soap myself. my fingers had disolved by then, my nails were so soft i could bend them into funny shapes like horses and flowers..;) my skin was so soft from the hot water that i just needed to touch it and it would burst open. oh yes, speaking of hot water. the water coming out of the tap was FREAKING HOT!! but not hot hot like, oh, wow that is hot. more like 'f***, i just burned off my little finger!'-hot. there is a little sign over the two sinks that says acording to law number blab blab blub you have to soap the dishes and the rinse them with hot water no cooler then 43celcius. 43CELCIUS. that is like stepping barfeet on sand in the sahara. man was that hot. and it didn't get better the more dishes i cleaned and therefore the more i burned myself. no. it just kept being painful. so i decided i will buy some cloves today. with a bright colour and smilies on them to cheer me up.
when the day was finally at end and the garbage bags were on the curb i wasn't that sure if i wanna come back on wednesday. it's freaking busy and i am standing the whole time. i have no clue what to say if a costumer comes a along and the waiter in charge has mistericly disappered(which happend a couple times). 'can i get a coffee?"'aehem, sure, yeah why not. don't we all love coffee?' 'so, can i get one now?" 'well,... actually...no. cause i have NO IDEA how to do it and even if i knew i couldn't do it cause my hands sunk and went lost in that FREAKING huge sink over there. yep, that one with the millions of dirty dishes piled up at each side growing by the second. which reminds me that i have to go back and unfortunately have to stop talking to you. but i think soon there will be a person appearing who claims to know how to do it and will happily assist you.'
ui ui ui. first days are kinda interesting. it is a real good experience for me cause i like to know how to do things and be in charge and do stuff on my one. now i have to ask about every step i take and don't take etc. and it's kinda overwhelming to tell the truth. i was very exhausted and just wanted to eat, not wash ANY more dishes no matter how many are piled up at home and go to bed. and i did.
so today i am not watching rowan which is really cool and i take the day off. i will buy some happy gloves and try not to freak out over the fact that i forget to empty the coolhouse-garbage cool water bucket yesterday at the end of my shift. that bucket likes to overfload and well, i forgot to empty it. i remembered it at 8 am this morning and felt this soapy awareness creaping up my throut. oh well.
so, yes dishwashing is fun and deliberating and joyfull.:) you rock, baby!:)
sending you loving soaps, aeaeah, soapy love...mhm...i mean bleach clear blessings,
jewels

I LOVE Guelph!!

Hello dear friends and family.
I am sending you blessings from the beautiful city of Guelph, Ontario. I have been living here now for the past 3 weeks, house and dogsitting. What a wonderful city. Things are getting into motion as I have my first JOB. I wil lstart working for this funky, awesome, fun and sweet little place called 'the corner stone'. it is a vegetarian/vegan restaurant and I will be one of the counter people. So i am not serving costumers yet but washing dishes and making coffee, running up-and downstairs to stic up the kitchen etc. there is no introduction whatsoever but basically just a 'welcome and here you go'. they are all awesome people though. funky and crazy they way i like it. mark is the owner and my interview was in the sidewalk ending with a welcoming hug. really cool. so i am excited and curious how my first day will be. i am also nanny-ing again. this time for the wonderful, sweet, beautiful, awesome miss rowan sunshine who is almost 2 and a lot of fun. we eat, walkdance, sing, chill in the hammock, smell flowers and enjoy life together. no schedul whatsoever, no karate, soccer, playdates etc. no tv and a lotof nature and sunshine. she can even say jewels. yeahhhhh!:) so i am very happy right now. i am still looking for a room to rent but try to take this as another spiritual experience. just breathing, trusting and being. i maifested a perfect living situation so i simply need to wait and see what happens. and of course call people and email people and get the work out there.
i am very excited acout starting this part of my journey. i actually have a library card. and a house key. i went and saw an open-mike event at a local pizzeria and just couldn't stop smiling. the trees are dancing in the wind that is blowing today and makes my skirt (anna,m do you remeber the purple wrapping skirt you once gave to me? my mom send it to me and i am wearing it as much as i can...:)) dance. the sun comes out every once in a while but it is warm and it smells like summer and cut grass. when i stepped outside the house yesterday i heart 'dudelsack'music in the ear. there was a band practising close by in kilts and hats and everthing else. i love it.
i am sending you all blessings, especially my aunt heike who is facing some challenging times at the moment.
love, oh and have a jewelarious day!!!!!:)
jewels

georgetown, ontario, canada

hi dear friends and family,
i am back in canada. yeah, since saturday morning around 5:30am i have been walking on canadian territory!:) i am staying with jayne who is a very dear friend of mine and i am getting settled and ready to start working. this time i have a work and travel visa so i can actually work and make some money. yeah.:) right now i am taking it easy though cause i am getting used to the idea of having left belfast, maine which is such a lovely place. i really endjoyed my stay there. right now i am at a point in my travel life where i am longing to settle down and stay at one place for a longer period. my body is getting tired of moveing constantly and having to adjust to different lifestyles and housing situations. i am very aware of my body needs and i think i am ready to do what it asks for. so i am sendind out the request to the universe to find a place i like and i feel comfortable and where i can image to stay for longer.
i am sending you all love and blessings and i hope you are enjoying the summer sun as much as i do here.
love,
jewels

rocking chairs on the porch...

hi dear firends,
some time went by since my oast entry...well, what can i say??:) i am in new hampshire, it is sunday morning, the sun shines on my bar feet and arms, i am sitting on the proch joined by judy's family. the birds are singing and besides that nothing can be heart. occasionally a car comes driving by. i spent the weekend with judy and her family cause dan, judy's brother organized a house concert yesterday night which was amazing. a fiddler and a guitar and they were both incredible. the house is big enough to host all of us and 65 guests. today everybody is tired but very happy. in an hour there will be lunch and german rhubarb cake for dessert.:) i have been visiting diedre and jusy for over a week now and i simply fell in love with belfast. it is such a neat little town. farmer's markets on friday and saturdays, little individual stores and cafes, the ocean in walking distance. there is a food-coop so a lot of organic food for amazing prices. i went to a african dance workshop last thursday and that was fun. i was mostly falling over my own feet trying to follow the teacher'snstructions. she by the way was simply amazing. and it looked sooo easy...there was a live drummer and wow, the way my body felt afterwars was worth the embarrassment..:) after the 'little' warm up in the beginning i was already exhasusted but it was only the beginning. cause i was a dop-in i didn't know anything of the choreography and had to learn everything in that one session. it was fun though nevertheless.
i will stay on for the next week or at least i hope i can stay on depening how diedre feels about that. next saturday is a contra dance event and i would LOVE to go and attend that. that is a lot of fun.
last week i went to curch with judy and annouced at joys and concerns that i am looking for some jobs to make a little money for the road, jobs like cutting the lawn, helping clenaing etc. well, 4 or 5 people came up to me and so i was busy most of the week. i planted a whole bed of sunflowers and weeded like crazy and turned a 'weed'bed into a well weeded bed for flowers. i did that in the rain but with hayley sales and good rain gear it was actually fun.
judy's family is a lot if fun, we are all joking around and teasing each other. just kidding...:) after lunch we gonna get going back home, a 4 hour ride with the car.
anyway, sendng you all lots of love and sunshine,
jewels

dancing is living, be alive, being vivid. i loved it and had an amazing night!

the four elements. air, earth, water and fire. fierce look i have in that picture, ej??:)

i am a dancer. i represent fire.

full moon ceremony at cascada verde. for the monthly full moon ceremony we hosted the event this time at cascada verde. 3 other volunteer as I were the dancers who opened the ceremony. it was so mcuh fun. the drum and the people were simply amazing.

me at the beach. drawing a big fat smilie!

me at the beach in uvita, costa rica. such a gorgous sunset!!

happy Eastern everybody!!!

hello everybody,
i am sending you loving eastern blessings to whereever you follow my blogg!! may you have a peaceful day with your friends and family!!
heidi and i are hoping that micha will be out of the hospital by tomorrow. he has been kept in the hospital for some random check-ups but we hope they will be over today.
i just baked a cake and decorated the house somehwhat easterny...
love to you all,
jewels

horses are our soulmates!!

hola dear friends,
i am writing you in a very happy and satisfied mood. i had a wonderful weekend, relaxed on the porch in the sun, read the washington post and simply enjoyed life. i was also able to ride on zhar for a little bit while heidi was leading him. that was great. such a wonderful feeling to feel the horse under you and its easy and slight movements.
today we started to work in the garden. potatoes. man, i am so out of shape. do all the farmers feel drained after their first hour of outdoor work after the winter?? i was reminded a lot on my time at whole village last spring where we were digging in the rain day after day. my back cries out : "are you SERIOUS??? dude, after yoga you push me to do THAT???" well, well, i hope i will adjust. i did last year. and the beauty aboyt farming is that the jobs vary form season to season. you do the same movement for one season but then there is a change. although weeding is done any time of the year..:) well, 6 rows of potatoes we did this morning, micha and i. nice and neat the look. i smelled the earth and it smelled like home. the earth in costa rica smelled different. in general, the spring air makes me almost dizzy. i love this season so much. the birds started to sing, the trees slowing start to bloom (in dc the trees are at their best right now!!) and nature awakes. the horses already wear masks cause the flys are really bad already. looks kind of funy. like 'blinde kuh', which is a german game.
on sunday my cousins confirmation was happening in germany and i was able to takl to him. that is kind of crazy when you travel. somehow to have the idea that only YOU are changing and grwoing but everyelse that you know stays the same. how strange to see my cousins all grown-up and ready to face the world when i couple days ago he was still playing with legos??just kidding. but i guess when you are not there all the time change is more obvious once you DO see a picture of your beloved once. makes me think how fast life goes. i mean i have left germany almost 2 years ago. 2 years! my convirmation was 6 7 years ago and abi also 2 years. crazy but also that fact is comforting as it also shows that hard times pass. i remember when i first got to costa rica i was shocked and i just wanted to leave and couldn't wrap my head around the fact that my return ticket is not until march 19. MARCH 19 and it was only december. 3 MONTHS, 108 days (yeah, it is a little more then 3 months for who ever actually counted the days. i stayed longer, remember??) with NO BATHROOM, NO ROOM and so far away from EVERYTHING that i coudn't even WALK to the next telephone in less then 2 hours. but i managed. and i stayed. and i grew so much and learned so much. back then i thought the time will never pass. but now it is already april. i HAVE actually eaten bread again and hi, going tothe bathroom only equipped with a shovel and toilet paper (fancy, fancy) isn't that bad.
i think that this time taught me especially that in time of pain or uncomfort you appreciate every moment of pleasure so much more and your eyes are more open to see the sun side of things and situations. for example after reading up in a book called 'animal speak', that the spider has an incredible meaning and can teach us a lot, i still cry out but then i remember what i learned and i can take in consideration what she can teach me today. that really changed how i think about spiders now.
have you ever had a day where you felt like time stands still? where the numbers on the watch just doesn't want to change?? where you could almost see the single movements of a kolibri? i exaggerate of course but yeah, i kinda felt like that during my first days in costa rica. here time seems to go slow but steady. i am already more than two weeks back in the northern hemisphere. the days here are laid back although today was the first day where i really needed to lay down after lunch. i was exhausted. i work in the morning and usually after lunch i am free or if i desire i can go back to a project. i usually also do stuff around the house or help micha and heidi with something. i was interupted a few seconds ago by micha how asked if i could help him fill up some honey from the big container that we bought into smaller once. so far we have 3 1 1/2 kg bottles full of honey and the container is not even half full. so a lot of honey which exits me of course. nothing tastes better for me as a fresh baked piece of michas bread with honey!!! mhm.
now i will go back to applying for a wwoof opportunity at farms here in north carolina for the time between my parents leave and my visa expiration date.
i am sending you lots of love and
enjoy the time that you are having NOW.
jewels

spring is here..i've got the proof!!

hi my dear friends,
thank you so much for all your lovely wishes and emails. i couldn't acces them until yesterday as our internet didn't work. but nowi t does again. so everybody whose email bounced back can try it again...:) i just noticed by the way that i had 21 posts so far, this is my 22nd. and i am 21 now. yeah.
well, today the wheather is beautiful. a cloudless shing blue sky and sun. the wind is pretty strong but neverthelss it is spring. and i got the proof. this morning after i did my morning yoga i started to get undressed and was jsut about to put on my shirt when i felt pain under my right arm pit. something stuck out of my skin. well, when i rushed down to the bathroom and looked in the mirrow, what did i see??? a TIC. so that is why i know it is springtime. heidi, used to pulling tics from her dogs, did a very good job at getting rid of my little friend. even with the head. s now i am tic-free again. what a welcome gift!!:)
today iwill continue working on the little bridge. i am cleaning or better brushing the single poles and then i paint them. heavenly blue. looks damn nice.;)
my brithday was kind of laid back. the wheather was pretty interesting as it rained the whole day and it was misty. oh well. micha came back from germany that day and that was a very nice present. the next day we went to our favorite indian restaurant and had lunch there. mhmmm, yamm. yesterday, micha and heidi had differnet appointments to go to so i stayesd with the dogs and as it was still raining like crazy i cleaned the house while listening to mary higgins clark. that was fun. i also went for a long walk with the dogs only in t-shirt as the sun suddenly decided to shine full blast.
alrighty then, i will head out soon. hope you all are doing great and enjoying spring as much as i do here!!!!
love you all,
jewels

home sweet home...

dear friends,
i am sitting in the office at bluff mountain farm, outside the horses are grazing and it stopped raining. the clouds were hanging really deep today. heidi and i were cleaning today, making the house look pretty for us and our guests whoa re coming for dinner tomorrow. we will make a vegetarian/vegan/raw dinner and we are very excited. heidi bought a wonderful vegan cookbook and we are trying different recipes. it is fun. we'll make lemony roasted potatos with beans and tomatoes i believe. heidi is in charge of that course. i will make the coup as a appetizer which is a raw, cold soup with tomatoes and cantalopes. as a dessert we will have german applecake and avocato-chocolate mouse. oh and a salad. anybody wants to come??:)
i am so happy to be back. i simply love it here. the land is sooo pretty. yesterday heidi and i went shopping for the dinner tomorrow. on tuesday we went to charlottesville for me to see that beautiful town and then we bought some horse feed and we also went to see heidis new horse. sundance. he looks like pippi longstockings horse. white with brown dotes all over him. so beautiful.
it is great to be back in a climate that seems so familiar. the trees are all brown again (not as green and as covered with orchards etc like in cr) and the roads are all paved and i understand the people when they talk...missed that part a lot. funny now that when i encounter hispanis in the store i kinda get what they say. i mean not all of it for sure but more then before i went to costa rica.
i am back in my old room, the room i live dthe last couple times i was here. this time i actyually stay long enough to decorate it and make me feel at home. i still keep my routine of waking up with the sun, doing some yoga and meditation. i really love that. it gives me a lot of enery and takes away the stiffness i feel otherwise in the morning. i also keep my diet pretty much the same. only fruit in the morings (oh i miss those costa rican bananas...), no wheat and mostly no dairy. heidi baked this amazing bread with spealt and sunflower seeds and my body really likes that. it is fun to experiement with food and see what works for me. i encourage you all to try it too. i don't feel as tired during the day as i felt when i ate wheat and dairy. it is amazing how different i feel. especially when i compare how i feel when i eat raw and then cooked foods.
i will stay here in madison until the end of april and then i will go an meet my parents which i am very excited about. it will be fun to show them the counrty i fell in love with. after that i haven't decided what i wanna do. maybe come back to madison or find another farm. maybe visit come dear friends in maine who i met in costa rica. i wanna be back in canada by the end of may beginning of june so we'll see.
hope you are all doing well.
sending you love and peace,
jewels